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If we had been all dressed up, we would have had more options.
Anyway, we tried to think of where we could go for a little fun, but we had a few criteria: good food, good drinks, inviting atmosphere, and a few grown-up guys we could flirt with without feeling like pedophiles.
In my book, Done With The Crying, tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adults can help you move forward and heal. When you are betrayed by someone you love, perhaps particularly an estranged adult child who you nurtured and helped to shape, it’s as if the bottom falls out.
However, I screwed up the details and so we found ourselves all dressed up with nowhere to go.
Actually, we weren’t all dressed up; we were dressed pretty casually.
It’s helpful to reach out to a trusted, empathetic friend or two, but whether you can or can’t confide in others, don’t deny your feelings exist. Some common feelings of rejected parents include: *Guilt: I must not have raised my child right. *Helplessness: How can he/she refuse to take my call? ” Called “ruminating,” this sort of negative thinking spurs more negative thought, perhaps even calling to mind the other things that “always happen.” Clinical studies have linked ruminating to high blood pressure and to unhealthy behaviors such as binge drinking and overeating, so steer clear. Turn your statements and questions around with positive thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about your adult child or the situation, notice your physical body as well. In short, the way we think about things can reduce our physical stress response Take a few deep breaths, loosen up or even get up and move around. Do something to aid your physical body and health as well as positively altering your thoughts.
An adult child’s rejection may cause parents to look back critically at their parenting skills, even magnifying some incidents or interactions during the child’s growing up years as proof they did a poor job. Parents realize they have no control over their adult child’s actions. Three: Focus on the Good Take time out each day to consider the positive situations and good people in your life.